Previously on: I Know You Know Better Than That

No, I'm not going to recap what I already said. If you really can't remember, read it again. I woke up the next day, kinda crabby. We planned on leaving around 5 that night to head over to my aunt's place. Emily made some chicken crap and grabbed two plates and asked my mom what piece she wanted. She continued to dish up for herself, then went and sat down at the table. She completely ignored the fact that I was even there. I was not happy. I ignored her because I ended up getting a text message from Cody saying he wanted to go out for coffee at 2. I put on my coat and shoes and stood by the door waiting for about 20 minutes because I was acting like a child and didn't want to be near Emily. He showed up and I got in the car. Cody smells good, in case you were wondering. We spoke like we hadn't just had a retarded fight over coffee and headed out to Biggby's. I got an 8 ounce mocha for $12. That's a lie. It was like $3 but that's still expensive. It didn't matter though, because Cody was a gentleman and paid for my drink. We sat and chatted for about an hour, until Cody said he had to go to Walmart to get some chap stick. I don't know if that was code for something or what...but he took me back to the house. We packed up our stuff and my mom grabbed a box from a pile of stuff she was leaving for Emily. She said she wanted to give AnneMarie (my niece) something before she moved...something that she said she had been waiting to give to her first granddaughter for years. It was a Tupperware tea set that she once told me was meant for my first daughter. I was crushed. I took my crap to the car and sat in there waiting.

My mom acted like nothing was wrong until she got a phone call from my dad. At that point she went on to tell him that I was upset over her giving away her stuff, because I wanted it. For the record, that is NOT why I was upset. I was upset because my mom was giving away my childhood memories. She gave away a bunch of Barbies that were still in the boxes, things that she used to tell me would some day belong to me. We eventually got into a discussion about how I felt like she is leaving me behind. She once again asked me if I would go with her. I'm not going anywhere. She keeps saying that she is coming home in September (the month of my birthday) so that she can visit her "grandbabies." It wasn't until the third or fourth time that she said it that she realized that it was killing me that her grandkids were taking priority over her kids...over me. We both sobbed for about 5 minutes then went on to sing to some 80's music that was on Sirius radio.

We made it to my aunt's place around 5:30 and she was so excited that she was going to get to take us out on the town. She hadn't seen me since I turned 21, so her goal for the night was to get me messed up. We went to three bars that night, Monelli's, Mojo's and ...some other bar that sucked so bad I don't even remember the name of it. My aunt likes to stop at a gas station before she goes out so she can grab a Red Bull to avoid a hangover the next day so we stopped and my mom experienced her first energy drink. We got to Monelli's and my aunt couldn't find her wallet anywhere. At that point, we turned around and went back to the gas station to see if she left it there. She went inside and the person at the counter said they hadn't seen anything. She stormed out of the gas station tweaking about it and I told her that she probably dropped it when she got into the car. She walked over to where she was parked before and sure enough it was sitting in the parking spot. It had been run over so the zipper was broken but nothing was missing. It's a little sad that she was losing stuff before she even started drinking...

We got BACK to the bar and met up with my aunt's friends Leah and Donna. Both of them were divorced, and on the prowl like sex crazed cougars. Leah looked like she was in her late 20's when in reality she was in her early 40's...with a 21 year old son. Donna took Leah to get her car and my aunt ordered me a long beach, which I guess is like a long island but with cranberry juice. It was strong. It was GOOD. I sucked it down in a matter of minutes and my aunt ordered me another. I took that one a little slower and Leah and Donna came back. I was a little more comfortable at that point. The owner of the bar came and sat by us because my aunt sold him ad space a while back and he bought us all a "birthday shot." Turns out I really like buttery nipples. We were getting ready to leave and I was a little nervous to get up, since I just downed 2 long beaches and a shot in a matter of 30 minutes and on an empty stomach. I thought I was going to fall over. It was fun asking my mom to hold me up.

So next up was Mojo's, where they have the dueling pianos, and a really hot pianist. Oh god was he hot, and damn could he play. Mmmm....Oh, sorry...where was I? Uhh..oh right. We walked into the bar and we were all headed towards the bathroom because my aunt and I were about to wet ourselves. We weren't in the bar for any longer than 3 minutes and my mom was hit on. She would want me to mention that. The bar was packed so there was nowhere to sit, but my mom would not have that so she went on a search for a table. Next thing I know, my mom is waving her hands in the air like an idiot. We wandered over to her and she explained that the guy that was sitting there was about to leave and he said we could have his table, but he asked if it was alright for him to finish his drink first. We all sat down, said hi, all that good stuff. Leah sat down next to him and chatted him up. His name was Adam and he was 24. I drank a Bahama Mama, and another buttery nipple and we all made fools of ourselves, like any normal dumb ass at a bar. Next up was that ridiculously stupid bar that I can't remember the name of...WAIT! It was called Magoo's...and it sucked.

My aunt said that it was suppose to be some bar that played 80's music. It was midnight, and I felt like an old woman because I wanted to go to bed. It wasn't 80's music either. It was the usual music that people have sex on the dance floor to. That's exactly what was going on. Right away my aunt got us a shot called a red headed slut. It was nasty. Stuff happened, and people were there. Leah brought Adam with her because apparently they were hitting it off. She was trashed. So trashed in fact that she tried to sit on the bar stool and missed. It was awesome. There was almost a bar fight. All that good garbage. We got home around 2:30, after bar close, and we got to sleep on the couch. It was really comfy, except for that it wasn't.

We were up by 8:30, and showered so we could head to our next destination, West Bloomfield, where I was suppose to meet Brian and Shaun. I tried to make plans with Brian but it was too short of notice, so no Brian, I'm not mad at you, just disappointed that I didn't get to see you. We got to my mom's friend Brenda's place at about 2 that afternoon. I was really uncomfortable for multiple reasons. One was because Brenda has a 10 year old son, named TJ, that is mildly autistic and he REALLY liked me. He was adorable, but it was awkward because he kept kissing me on the cheek and rubbing his forehead on my arm. The other reason I was uncomfortable was because Brenda also has another son, my age, named Mitch. I don't do well around people my age. So I was sitting at the table in silence and I got a text message from Shaun. I had mentioned the conversation that I had with Brad to him a while before and he brought it up with Brad. Apparently I lied about something. I was uncomfortable, and crabby, and just didn't feel good so I was a jerk and told Shaun that maybe we should just cancel our date for that night. I regretted it, in fact I still do, because I didn't get to see him before I left for home and now I don't know if I'll ever see him again. We all sat around and talked for hours and then it was time for bed. The next day we went out to eat, then went back to the house and I got my hair cut. Now it looks freaking awesome.

Brenda's husband Steve, TJ and Mitch all came in and Mitch said something about his friend Cheeks wanting to go bowling that night. Mitch walked out of the room and my mom instantly said I should go with them. I'm not one to invite myself out with someone, and especially someone that I barely know. I told her I didn't want to go and Brenda said I would have fun but I left it at that. I think Mitch heard the conversation because that night as we were eating he asked if I wanted to go with him. It was sweet of him but I had a feeling he did it out of pity. I told him that I appreciated the offer but I was going to pass. My mom began to push it as did Brenda and after 15 minutes of nagging and an offer of $20 if I went, I finally got them to shut up. I haven't been that uncomfortable in a very long time. Fortunately, that was the last night of our trip, so all I had to do was make it through that night. We watched some music videos because Brenda is stuck in 19, 19, 1985 then headed to bed. 7 am rolled around and the trip home began. Now I'm home, and my computer is fixed. TADA!

Oh, and if there were a bunch of typos, it would be because I didn't want to read this whole thing over again to look for them..so bug off.